Saturday, March 31, 2007

Bees (1992)

It was sometime in 7th grade that I was taught the modus operandi of honey bees. The bee stings .. and then the bee dies. I found that hilarious. I think I even asked the teacher if that qualifies to make it the stupidest animal on earth. I found out, painfully, a couple of weeks later that it's not a bad means of self defense.

The day began like every other day in my life. The sun rose in the east, I was tortured in the badminton camp, I was late for school, I served detention. You know .. every other day in my life. And then, before I knew it, it was evening and I was on my trusty bicycle pedalling to the badminton camp again. There was a colony of honeybees on a lamp post just outside the stadium. It had been there since the stone age and the bees had never troubled anyone. I used to be very nervous around the hive, but ever since that wonderfully enlightening lecture on bees in my science class, I never gave the hive a second glance. So I parked my bike and was just thinking to myself that it's a particularly cloudy day when the first bee stung me. That was no cloud above me. Someone had thrown a stone on the hive and I was right below it. "No problem I told myself, It's me, superior mammal, against some asinine dodos out to commit suicide". I quickly recollected the second sentence of my science teacher. " If you are attacked by bees, cover your face and freeze, they wont see you and they will pass by you". Freeze I did, with an expression of serene confidence, for about half a minute. That's when the next bee stung me. I guess that one was retarded even by bee standards, and so it drove straight into me, even though I had used my brilliant mammalian brains and beaten the system. I jerked in pain and the onslaught began in earnest. The stings were coming thick and fast and I knew that I had come a poor second in this battle of wits. Screaming in pain and fear I ran for dear life and plunged, fully clothed, into a nearby swimming pool. I stayed underwater for a full 4 minutes ( that's still a personal best for me) before I surfaced. Once out, I ran into the changing room and closed all the doors.

Darkness fell before I had the courage to venture out. I hit the road as fast as I could and sprinted home. At first no one would open the door for me. It took me half an hour to convince my parents that I had not kidnapped their son, in fact, I was their son .. just with a swollen face and a bruised ego. Ever since I have had a healthy respect for all animals. Bees, ants .. they're all smart .. it doesn't matter what the book says.


Pratibha said...

Heheh..Lucky for u tht there was a swimming pool....Guess wht would have happened else!

Arry Potter said...

Sounds like mine!

Ms Cris said...

Gosh bee stings when they come in 1 are bad enough. But so many is unimaginable! Congratulations on living!